Yeah, this. One night I was on another coke bender and couldn't sleep of course. It was 9 in the morning or something and I was trying to go to bed and couldn't because there was noise outside my window. In a fury, I flung the window open and was about to start yelling when I had the "moment". Three beautiful Vietnamese girls in perfect dresses were chasing rats around the dumpster in the ally. This was their playground and I was upset. I can still see them. I lost my girl, the phone was shut off once again, I was behind on my rent, up again all night watching my health melt away, everything. I was now a monster. I moved 100 miles away and never did coke again. Had I stayed with that crowd, I would have died.